Humour in Uniform…(I)


After a little thinking, for just about a couple of years, I decided to go in for a full health check-up routine which is recommended to be done once a year, after you cross two scores!

After a lot of dragging of feet and changing of schedules, I got my appointment date finally fixed.

The ritual started from the previous night. Need to be 10 hrs + fasting for the blood tests. So, very carefully I had some healthy dinner the previous night, at 7.30 pm! ( as if my blood would show something different because of one good dinner..  but still..faith prevailed!).

On the D-Day,with my stomach growling, I went to the Centre. The routine started with the infamous blood sampling. My idea of sample was a drop of blood to check if all the counts were right. No….I was in for a surprise! The nurse came with 3 big syringes! Oh no..!!!With a very polite smile ( reminded me of Florence Nightingale), she pierced the first big needle and sucked my precious blood to the brim of the syringe. Then came the second and then the third!! Aaaaahhhh…I screamed inside, I will need a transfusion..God save me!! And then..it was over.

Moved on to the next test. The instructions were very clear , yet perplexing. This is what she said.

“Now, give the urine sample in this bottle. But make sure you don’t drain completely, because the next test is ultra-sound and it requires your bladder to be full! If you drain fully, then you will have to wait for another hour for the ultra sound” and smiled, indicating… you know for what!

The bladder was full by now because they had made me drink a litre of water to keep it going already. And now, she says, just enough for the sample and then keep it as it is! Hey…wait a minute…how is that possible???? What if I cannot hold? Am I such a moron, that I can waste another one hour waiting in this claustrophobic place, filling my sack?? No…God help me!!! There should be a better way out. I put all my grey matter to work and all the time management skills I was coached on and did a hundred permutations and combinations and came out with this brilliant solution.  I told her that we could get the ultra-sound first and then I could give her as much sample as she wanted and waste the rest without having to feel guilty !

She looked at me viciously. Sacrilege! her eyes screamed! I was trying to change something that was being followed for , dont know how long. She of course had to check if this was possible. She called someone and whispered something over the phone and then nodded vigorously. Anyways, I think she realized the virtue of my sequencing, after I gave her one of my pathetic smiles. She said ‘OK” and changed the sequence for the rest in the queue also. The relief on their faces was obvious as all of them must have been undergoing the same trauma of the ‘sample” saga!

With the ultra-sound done and the samples given, moved on to the next test…

To be continued…

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One Response

  1. Haa haaa! Lateral thinking. Sometimes we all get stuck in our sequence and never check back to ask “Why?”

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