Haiku…


I have attempted to write a few 3 line Haiku, a Japanese form of poetry. May not be perfect, but trust the form is maintained.

Mood:

Cool breeze wafting

Scent of freshness in the air

Reflects my mood;

…( )…

Nightmare:

Alone in the jungle

Terrifying scream engulfs me

Wake up to a nightmare;

…( )…

Beach:

Wet feet on the sand

Cold water playing with toes

Sand on my feet stings;

…..( )…..

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15 Responses

  1. I don’t know how Haikus are supposed to be. Whatever it is, it is good. 🙂

  2. I am fan of Haiku (the ones I understood at least). I like the second and third one.

    My understanding was the third line should produce a new perspective about the first 2 lines. In general, a good haiku should transport you to a scene which it describes and leaves to ponder about the things you know about that place or feeling (My knowledge comes from Writer Sujatha who wrote a lot about Haiku)

    Famous Japanese Haiku:

    The old stil pond
    A frog jumped in,
    A subtle sound of ripple..

    • Yes Sri, you are right!
      Alsoome more technicalities involved like no. of syllables in each line and also, it should be written in such a way that the whole poem can be said in one breath!
      I should change the last line of my first one to
      “Deflects my mood” .

  3. Nice and simple.
    Not a fan however of anything to be said in 3 lines or 140 characters. Longer versions, much better.

    • Yeah..It is not as much fun as writing the flowy ones ofcourse. But is challenging given the syllable count etc.
      This feels more like writing an “Executive Summary”. Cant be done unless the whole deck is ready!

  4. All 3 of them are lovely, I like the first one best , cool breeze wafting … very nice!

  5. Hello, how are you?
    Simply want to check out on you and offer you our greatest appreciation for your support to potluck poetry. You rock!

    Reminder: week 18 Theme: Languages, Signs and Symbols

    The more you share, the happier we are. Plan ahead and have your entry poem. We are open Sunday 8pm, American Central time, linking in early would benefit your work with more encouragements.

    Hope to see you on Sunday at: http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/

    Let me know via email if you have questions or doubts.

    Again, we treasure your participation and would be great to see you again on week 18.

  6. fabulous piece.
    smartly put…

    A++

  7. great attempt! and thank you for sharing.. here’s my potluck.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/06/19/my-whole-world/

  8. I particularly like number 1 and 3, maybe because on this cold winter day both sound so good to me.

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